Eternal Spirit Zul Gurub Cauldron Song / June 23rd, 2011

Let's get some gear, there's heroics to do!
Eron's a-leading, and Hen's with us too,
We have Bira for kicks and Padmini will tank
And Jmbie, for filling that dps rank.

We start with four wipes on Venoxis, the snake.
(At that point, it's clear there's some measures to take).
We Youtube the tacs and repeat with face-sad:
"Avoid all the green stuff, and shiny is bad."

Troll cauldrons and raged voodoo chants from afar
Will not turn us back - we will soon face Hakkar!

More tactics! Venoxis is down, and we're clear
To dare take the challenge of great Mandokir:
He's back from the dead, and he now wants your head
(But you'll be ressurected by friendly Val'kyr).

Kilnara has cats on a ranged killing spree -
They pounce at your healer who's losing HP
And Eron is frothing and growling, for we
Do not interrupt that accursed AoE.

Troll cauldrons and faint voodoo songs from afar
Will not turn us back, we will soon face Hakkar!

Cat-lady is down! And Hen is dead, too.
(you'd think we died more than enough now, would you?)
But no, it's not mobs, nor Kilnara indeed;
It's the engineer's boots whose vile proc did the deed.

...We rez Henrietta (repair bills and all)
And hurry past crocs and the flame-spitting wall
It's getting quite late and we just want some fun;
Instead, what we get is another corpse run.

Troll cauldrons and raged voodoo chants from afar
Will not turn us back - we will soon face Hakkar!

"Enough!" (that's the leader, now slashing his wrists)
"We're here for the loot, not for laughing and kicks.
No kiting of drakes to no lifts, are we clear?
And... why is the tank dead again? I must hear."

"I thought they were you," the tank meeks with dread,
Pointing at three smirking trolls up ahead.
"They had fancy gear and this guy's hair was red -
I thought it was Bira, but he zerged me, instead."

Troll cauldrons and raged voodoo chants from afar
Will not turn us back - we will soon face Hakkar!

It's well past the end time, we wipe thrice or more
On Jin'do, whose chains, ghosts and shades we abhor
Then we wipe five more times and we know it's not long
Ere we'll have to revise our brave cauldron song.

Now the leader is grumpy, the rest - ill at ease,
The dps quiet, the tank cannot breathe
The armors are broken, the Spirit's not right
"Eternal" our asses; we bid you goodnight.