CHORUS

Winter Veil's merriment was in the air

With snowballs and reindeer and eggnog to spare

And the guild called "The Dragons" sat by the Veil tree

The presents all piled up – what joy it would be!


But little they knew that no good could emerge

From the Lord of their guild, sir Ebon-Nether Scourge…


STELLA

Good evening, my Guild Lord! Well met and good tides!

How like you this Gleaming Blue Sword] by my side?

 I got it for you, for this Winter Veil fest -

With a dragon-shaped pommel, to match the guild crest!


SCOURGE

That's sweet of you, Stella. Here's my gift for you;

I wish you a holiday merry and true.


STELLA

Why, thank you, my guild lord! Allow me, perhaps, 

To ponder the wonder therein, under wraps?


Will it be a dagger, it's blade shining green?

A fancy new crossbow? A flying machine?

Here, I pull off the wrapping! The gift is revealed!

*cough* …Oh jolly… you brought me …a [Rusty Grey Shield]…?


CHORUS

And so it went on – each guild member's loot

Was a [Flimsy Chain Girdle] or a [Worn Leather Boot],

And everyone raged when under his wrapper

Holly the Druid found a [1 Pound Mud Snapper]…


…The party was over, and with hurried pace

The guild members stormed off, deserting the place

And Sir Ebon Scourge lay awake, lone and dreary

For sleep would not come; no rest for the weary.


SCOURGE

Surrounded by gifts, yet I can't rest my head –

Wait! What is that shade creeping under my bed?!


SPIRIT

I am the Spirit of the Veil - 

a boring job, the paycheck's frail -

And yet I'm here to offer you

The Special Winter Veil Re-Do!


For, Ebon Scourge, the time has come

To yank the broomstick from your bum.

You weren't always like this, right?

How did your backside grow so tight?


I'm here to give you one last chance.

This was your life – come, take a glance.


It was in Elwynn, right by Hogger

You gave up that bright-green dagger

For the rogue who needed it –

'Twas generous, you must admit.


SCOURGE

It was indeed! She thanked me much.

In honest, I was deeply touched

When later, there, behind a chest

She let me fondle her right br---


SPIRIT

*coughs loudly*


And here in Gnomereghan, recall,

Those purple boots you passed, for all 

The others in the group who pleaded

That's the bit of gear they needed…


Sir Ebon Scourge, you used to SMILE!

Oh, when did you become so vile?


SCOURGE

You know I'm a paladin, right? So it's vital

For me to be nasty; it goes with the title.


SPIRIT

Oh, hush. I'd hoped you would be wiser;

The armour won't create the miser.

(It's true, however, I am told

In bed their weapons never hold).


But anyway! We must proceed.

In Zul Gurub… that epic steed…

You asked permission for a roll –

Oh, good Sir Scourge… Was that your fall?


SCOURGE

*snarls*

That steed was mine, you hear? Was MINE!

I gave up so much all the time -

hey promised me I'd win that beast –

But No! They gave it to the PRIEST!


[/cry]


SPIRIT

I feel your pain. Now stop your whining.

I did not come to hear you pining.

I'm here to show you where you'll end

If you refuse to make amends.


See here; this vision I now summon – 

Oh! It's you! fighting a dragon!


SCOURGE

…And beside me – By the Light!

Who is this, that stranger knight?

And the priest? I know her not –

 And the rogue's an idiot…


The sapped is woken by the mage

The shackled breaks its holy cage,

This group is bad, I know the type

There's no way to avoid a w-


SPIRIT

I said, stop your whining! Your balls I'll unplug!

Such people are Pain Under Gain, or a PUG. 

This is your future, unless you transform

Into someone more generous - giving, kind, warm.


And now I will leave you; you tire me so;

There's a man down in Ironforge to which I must go

They tell me that ikzjjxjhgkhd he is called –

I'll rip out his guts, for he is selling gold.


Chin up, good sir Scourge! Your nightmare won't last;

The future awaits – stop living in the past.


CHOROS

The following morning, Scourge rushed out of bed;

And went to the Plaguelands, and slaughtered undead; 

He came back that evening with blood on his hood

And begged for his guild to show up, if they would.


STELLA

*coldly*

Hello Sir. Don't tell me, I know on my own:

Perhaps you'll now give me a grey [Lifeless Stone]?


SCOURGE

Not a stone, no, dear Stella, if I may but flutter

I daresay my gift might be just a bit better.


STELLA

Oh fine, let me have it. Can't say that I care.

Here, I take off the paper… is that steel shining there?



Oh, guild lord – that weapon – it is no mere stinger…

It's no stone indeed – it is the [Ashbringer]!


CHORUS

Together they drank Winter ale with their friends;

With Scourge's new gifts, all the hearts did expend.

And what happened then? In The Dragons they say

That Scourge's tight heart grew three sizes that day!