Winter Veil's merriment was in the air
With snowballs and reindeer and eggnog to spare
And the guild called "The Dragons" sat by the Veil tree
The presents all piled up – what joy it would be!
But little they knew that no good could emerge
From the Lord of their guild, sir Ebon-Nether Scourge…
Good evening, my Guild Lord! Well met and good tides!
How like you this Gleaming Blue Sword] by my side?
I got it for you, for this Winter Veil fest -
With a dragon-shaped pommel, to match the guild crest!
That's sweet of you, Stella. Here's my gift for you;
I wish you a holiday merry and true.
Why, thank you, my guild lord! Allow me, perhaps,
To ponder the wonder therein, under wraps?
Will it be a dagger, it's blade shining green?
A fancy new crossbow? A flying machine?
Here, I pull off the wrapping! The gift is revealed!
*cough* …Oh jolly… you brought me …a [Rusty Grey Shield]…?
And so it went on – each guild member's loot
Was a [Flimsy Chain Girdle] or a [Worn Leather Boot],
And everyone raged when under his wrapper
Holly the Druid found a [1 Pound Mud Snapper]…
…The party was over, and with hurried pace
The guild members stormed off, deserting the place
And Sir Ebon Scourge lay awake, lone and dreary
For sleep would not come; no rest for the weary.
Surrounded by gifts, yet I can't rest my head –
Wait! What is that shade creeping under my bed?!
I am the Spirit of the Veil -
a boring job, the paycheck's frail -
And yet I'm here to offer you
The Special Winter Veil Re-Do!
For, Ebon Scourge, the time has come
To yank the broomstick from your bum.
You weren't always like this, right?
How did your backside grow so tight?
I'm here to give you one last chance.
This was your life – come, take a glance.
It was in Elwynn, right by Hogger
You gave up that bright-green dagger
For the rogue who needed it –
'Twas generous, you must admit.
It was indeed! She thanked me much.
In honest, I was deeply touched
When later, there, behind a chest
She let me fondle her right br---
And here in Gnomereghan, recall,
Those purple boots you passed, for all
The others in the group who pleaded
That's the bit of gear they needed…
Sir Ebon Scourge, you used to SMILE!
Oh, when did you become so vile?
You know I'm a paladin, right? So it's vital
For me to be nasty; it goes with the title.
Oh, hush. I'd hoped you would be wiser;
The armour won't create the miser.
(It's true, however, I am told
In bed their weapons never hold).
But anyway! We must proceed.
In Zul Gurub… that epic steed…
You asked permission for a roll –
Oh, good Sir Scourge… Was that your fall?
That steed was mine, you hear? Was MINE!
I gave up so much all the time -
hey promised me I'd win that beast –
But No! They gave it to the PRIEST!
I feel your pain. Now stop your whining.
I did not come to hear you pining.
I'm here to show you where you'll end
If you refuse to make amends.
See here; this vision I now summon –
Oh! It's you! fighting a dragon!
…And beside me – By the Light!
Who is this, that stranger knight?
And the priest? I know her not –
And the rogue's an idiot…
The sapped is woken by the mage
The shackled breaks its holy cage,
This group is bad, I know the type
There's no way to avoid a w-
I said, stop your whining! Your balls I'll unplug!
Such people are Pain Under Gain, or a PUG.
This is your future, unless you transform
Into someone more generous - giving, kind, warm.
And now I will leave you; you tire me so;
There's a man down in Ironforge to which I must go
They tell me that ikzjjxjhgkhd he is called –
I'll rip out his guts, for he is selling gold.
Chin up, good sir Scourge! Your nightmare won't last;
The future awaits – stop living in the past.
The following morning, Scourge rushed out of bed;
And went to the Plaguelands, and slaughtered undead;
He came back that evening with blood on his hood
And begged for his guild to show up, if they would.
Hello Sir. Don't tell me, I know on my own:
Perhaps you'll now give me a grey [Lifeless Stone]?
Not a stone, no, dear Stella, if I may but flutter
I daresay my gift might be just a bit better.
Oh fine, let me have it. Can't say that I care.
Here, I take off the paper… is that steel shining there?
Oh, guild lord – that weapon – it is no mere stinger…
It's no stone indeed – it is the [Ashbringer]!
Together they drank Winter ale with their friends;
With Scourge's new gifts, all the hearts did expend.
And what happened then? In The Dragons they say
That Scourge's tight heart grew three sizes that day!